is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
