Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
