How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
