So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize