We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
