Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I party with great urgency now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
