You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
