cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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