your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
