I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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