I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
