does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
