i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
there is puke in my bra ... again
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
