I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
