I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize