You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I sprained my soul last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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