Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
