We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
