WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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