So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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