i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
