if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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