i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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