When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize