But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
