There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
