shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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