"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
