he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
