last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
