He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
