Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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