Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
