hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize