There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
