they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
