So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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