We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
