ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My dick has a subreddit
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
