me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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