found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she told me i tasted like america
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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