Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
