i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
