why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
