some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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