I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
