Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
