Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
