Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
