Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
