They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Randomize
