Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
