Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
