so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
