i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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