What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize