Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My ass is underappreciated
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
