operation have a gay friend backfired
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
