I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
