This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
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