he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
